Christian Intimacy Experts, Forums and Sex Advisors
This page contains the resources that I have found useful in my personal and professional life. Admittedly, it is an eclectic list. It contains everything from the books I like to podcasts and videos.
I will update this list as I discover new resources. If you have a resource you think I should add, please email me.
Brad and Kate Aldrich www.onefleshmarriage.com
On this website, Brad (a marriage and family therapy counselor) and Kate (stay-at-home mom, home schooler, and photographer) share their journey toward discovering the joy in Ephesians 5:21 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Paul and Lori Byerly www.themarriagebed.com
Paul and Lori had a great marriage – until the sexual baggage they brought with them got in the way. They eventually found resolution, but were frustrated by the lack of help available from Christian sources. “It really should not have been that hard,” they said, and The Marriage Bed is their way of helping other couples “get past the problems in their marriage, including sexual problems, and find ways to have the kind of full and satisfying marriage God intended us all to have.”
Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD www.tinaschermersellers.com
Without a doubt Tina is doing amazing work helping individuals and couples. As a sex therapist who emphasizes a “sex-positive Gospel,” she wears many hats: therapist, writer, speaker, and blogger on marriage and religious sexual shame. Her blog is filled with inspiring ideas and themes. I especially liked In Pursuit of a Sex-Positive Gospel and Creativity, Sexuality & Mystery. Tina has also launched www.InstituteOnIntimacy.com whose mission is to provide training in sex therapy and spiritual intimacy to psychotherapists. Ironically, therapists typically do not get training in sexual health and most clinical sexologists do not get training in relationship dynamics. As a bonus, Tina is the founder of www.ThankGodForSex.org, an online community of people who have experienced religious sexual shame and have “discovered a new way to relate to their bodies, sexuality and God.” Well worth your time!
Julie Sibert www.intimacyinmarriage.com
The tagline for Julie’s website is “Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy.” I especially like her down to earth approach to the topic. Her sensitivity to the issues facing wives and husbands is right on and coincide closely with the main conflict in All of Me Wants All of You, the transformation Kate and Dean undertake individually and together to reach satisfying sexual intimacy.
Christopher West www.christopherwest.com
If you’re looking for a sensitive and thoughtful writer with a knack for making spiritual sense out of the centuries of misinformation touted by the Catholic Church, Mr. West is your man. Emphasizing the wide scope of holy love, his book, The Love That Satisfies, brings the human body and the emotions of Eros into harmony with a biblical view of sex.
Ed Young www.fellowshipchurch.com
The blurb for his book, Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse: “The predominant message in our culture is that it’s okay to have sex whenever, wherever, and however we want. But while society has taken sex too far, the church hasn’t taken it far enough.” Rev. Young preached this when he and his wife stood near a double bed beside the pulpit as he spoke to hundreds of listeners about the merits and rewards of Spirit-centered sex.
Other Resources I Highly Recommend
Although these experts don’t approach the subject from a specifically Christian perspective, I find their thoughts and suggestions to be very helpful.
The Experience Project/I Live In A Sexless Marriage http://bit.ly/1J7zbQ3
As mentioned on page 1 of God’s Toolbox for Sexless Couples, this is a great website to browse if for not other reason than to realize that you are not alone! Here are the stories of over 49000 members who pour their hearts out in hopes of seeking support and understanding.
Laura Berman www.laurabermanphd.com
Laura is a young medical doctor with a wealth of knowledge about sexual issues beyond her years. Her books Real Sex for Real Women and It’s Not Him, It’s You! are especially encouraging because of her unflagging optimism, and her emphasis on female-to-male behavior.
Michele Weiner Davis www.divorcebusting.com
She’s a renowned marriage therapist with helpful answers. Does the title of her book give you a hint, The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido? Her advice is edgy, gutsy, and compassionate for both partners caught in an intimacy impasse.
David Deida www.deida.info
The masculine nature of desire is Deida’s specialty. In The Way of the Spiritual Man, he offers a guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. What do women really want? What makes a good lover? If you’re a man, check it out. If you’re a women, all the more reason to pull back the curtain.
John Gottman and Julie Gottman www.gottman.com
The Gottman Institute in Seattle is renowned for couples therapy. As co-founders, the Gottmans have developed a well-respected, research-based approach to creating stronger relationships. Their clinical expertise supports the healthy growth of committed relationships, helps repair troubled marriages, and strengthens happy ones.
Debby Herbenick Indiana University/Public Health
Debby is a human sexuality researcher and professor at Indiana University. She explores all sorts of sex-positive subjects, from male/female pleasure enhancement and orgasms to lubricants, arousal creams and sex toys. Her book, Because It Feels Good, indicates her freedom-loving perspective on sexuality.
Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson www.tantrapm.com
Their book, Partners in Passion, proposes alternative models of long-term connection, is founded on mutuality and a collaborative mindset featuring empathy and transparency. As indicated by its subtitle, The Definitive Guide to Building Sexual Heat and Deep Emotional Intimacy for a Lifetime provides readers a step-by-step manual for creating a lasting, loving and erotic relationship.
Tammy Nelson www.drtammynelson.com
A savvy and upbeat sex therapist, Tammy offers frequent no-nonsense seminars and webinars for couples – in a variety of geographical locations. Among her books and articles, Getting The Sex You Want is a classic.
Christiane Northrup www.drnorthrup.com
You’ve seen her on NPR fund-a-thons giving seminars to auditoriums of women about the joys of menopause –– yes, joys. She offers sage advice for mainly middle-aged partners in struggling relationships, and her sound advice covers many bases. Of her many books, I found The Wisdom of Menopause to very helpful.
Esther Perel www.estherperel.com
Her signature book, Mating in Captivity, spells out the risks of domesticity and its negative effect on sexual desire. As a speaker, her TED talk on the same subject shows her depth of passion around the paradox of a couple’s close familiarity as anathema to passion, and has been viewed 5,530,556 times.
Joan Price www.joanprice.com
Joan is a dynamo, so strap on your seatbelt. She’s the Anthony Robbins of sexual freedom for the over-55 crowd. Her books are best sellers for encouraging late-in-life sexual activity, and her in-person workshops will leave you clapping for more.